Standing Still
by onlyyoujarly
Summary: Set in mid-2006. She is sleeping with his married brother. But there is something about her broken smile and sad eyes that intrigues Nikolas. Will this be their secound chance at love or are they just Standing Still? Nikolas/Maxie
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- I already have 8 chapters written for this, but before I go through the trouble of uploading them all I want to see if anyone was interested.**

Maxie came stomping out of the shower, wet blond hairs stuck to her face, and her petite frame in all it's naked glory.

"Lucky!" She shrieked. "Where do you keep the towels?"

Her blue eyes settled on Nikolas Cassasdine, her lips forming a silent oh, as she gasped. "Oh my."

He swallowed, trying to maintain his composure, which proved difficult with the young naked very feminine body only five feet away.

"I apologize." He forced through his dry throat.

"Where's Lucky?"

"I am not entirely sure." He answered. "Should I leave so you can get dressed and be on your way? You are aware that my brother is a happily married man."

She simply rolled her eyes. "Lucky is far from happy. If you took a moment to pull your head out of ass, and obsessing over the Cassadine evilness, then you'd realize that."

Nikolas winced at the foul language passing from the barely-legal blonde's lips. He did not know her well, but for some reason he had always assumed she was some innocent girl, like his little sister. Though that was she started sleeping with his married brother.

"Could you please put something on?" He questioned, noticing the awkwardness of the situation, as his eyes ventured down to her small breasts, to her flat stomach, the curve of her waist, and finally the center of her pleasure, and down her long, slender legs.

Her blue eyes widened with annoyance, as she placed her hands on her hips, her body shivering as his hot gaze traveled down her. Maxie was hardly self-conscious, but there was something about the thought of Prince Cassadine seeing her every curve that bothered her. "I would. But, you know, I don't have a towel. And there is water dripping from my body."

Nikolas swallowed thickly, forcing his eyes away from her clearly wet figure. "They should be under the sink." He informed her, choosing each step carefully as he passed her to enter the small restroom.

After rummaging through some things, as expected he found a towel. Whether it was clean or not was something he wasn't worried about. It would cover her, and prevent his curious eyes from exploring.

Nikolas exited, making sure not to touch her. But the short moment where his body almost brushed her, had his nostrils flaring with her scent, and every muscle tensing.

He handed the towel toward her, their hands brushing, rough against soft, his chocolate eyes capturing her blue ones, trapping them both.

Frozen, Maxie clenched the piece of material in her hands, wanting to tear her eyes away, but too intrigued by the numerous regrets swirling in his depths to look away.

Lightly, Nikolas trailed his fingers along her neck, wanting to latch his mouth onto the creamy skin. He felt her shudder in response, and had to force himself to take a couple steps back. Licking his bottom lip, he gently tugged the towel from her small hands, before securely wrapping it around her. "Tell Lucky I stopped by."

Maxie was speechless, as the door closed behind him.

* * *

Maxie entered Kelly's, her eyes immediately landing on Lucky, Liz, and Cameron who were supposedly a happy family. If only they knew the things he did to her on those dark, secluded nights. The dirty things he whispered in her ear.

Then her gaze traveled to Nikolas, sitting next to Lucky. He wasn't laughing like the rest of them. Instead his deep eyes were stuck on her, and she found it hard to move or even breath. Her heart beat quickened, and she apologized in advance to B.J., just incase she had a heart attack, and died right there.

A vast coldness spread throughout her, as Nikolas's eyes narrowed, hatred more than evident in his suddenly hateful stare. She swallowed thickly, and turned on her heel, leaving Kelly's.

Lucky's shocked eyes met hers through the glass, having just then noticed her presence. After she left, of course. Sometimes, she wondered what he would do if she just left. One day, stopped answering his calls, and didn't show up at their secret places at the right times. Would he care, or just go about his life with his wife and son.

Turning away from the happy family, it wasn't until after a warm hand landed roughly on her shoulder that she realized that Nikolas was beside her.

"I understand that you believe you love my brother. But I also know that you are young and naïve and do not have the slightest idea of what love is. Liz loves Lucky. Lucky loves Liz. They are married, and will be for years to come. If you leave Lucky alone."

"I don't believe shit. I know I don't love Lucky. I'm not that stupid. But, Lucky is a grown man, capable of making his own decisions and if that means he wants to bang me. Well…I don't think you really have much say."

Nikolas's eyebrows shot up, and Maxie was quick to clear up his obvious confusion before he could even verbalize his question.

"To bang is to fuck."

He shook his head. "What has happened to you?" He asked quietly. "The Maxie Jones I remember was far from this."

She closed her eyes momentarily, not wanting to see the compassion in his eyes. The compassion meant for someone who had long ago died, between being left by her mother, and loosing her first love.

When her eyes reopened, she was relieved to see the normal disappoint in Nikolas's. It was so much easier pretending that she wasn't letting anyone down. That no one cared enough to realize what she was doing to herself. It was better that way. She was free to destroy herself, without worrying about destroying others.

He shook his head. "I am asking you to stay away from Lucky. I would hate to see what would happen if you didn't."

They both knew his threat was empty. Nikolas still saw Maxie as the innocent virginal teenage girl. He couldn't hurt her, not when everything in him wanted to protect her.


	2. Chapter 2

Maxie turned away from Lucky, tugging the blankets around her naked body.

Before her phone had even rang, she had promised herself she wouldn't answer, wouldn't let herself be used, or hurt. But there she was, laying in another woman's spot, the feeling of his calloused hands burned into her skin, and the taste of vodka still strong on her tongue, making the memory of Jesse's gentle touch even dimmer.

Lucky's warm hand came up to caresses her shoulder, causing her body to tense, as it trailed down to waist.

"I want you." But he didn't love her or need her, and they both knew it. From the beginning it was an unspoken agreement, he used her body to forget, and she used him as a shield from falling in love again.

She shivered, his long, talented fingers ran along her lower abs, just above the place she needed him the most. But the small piece of gold on the same finger about to enter her was branded by another woman.

She allowed herself to be tugged onto her back, his empty eyes staring into hers, as he pleasured her. She felt his lips touch hers, the beer still evident on his tongue as hers tangled with his.

* * *

Maxie shielded her eyes, as the bedroom light flicked on. "What the…?" She trailed off, as she realized that Lucky's little boy, Cameron was standing in the doorway. Barely keeping her emotions in check, she let out a small gasp, and tugged the blanket up to cover her chest.

Roughly, she shook Lucky awake. Obviously, he was still hung over from last night, as he slowly sat up, massaging his temples. His eyes widened as he spotted his son in the door. "Hey, buddy. Where's your mother?"

"In there." His chubby finger pointed outside toward the living room.

A whispered curse left Lucky's lips, as he jumped out of the bed, his nudity not fazing him as he hurriedly pulled on a pair of boxers. She didn't even receive a second look, as the bedroom door slammed behind him, followed by accusations and sobs.

"Are my Daddy and Mommy fighting?"

Maxie could only nod, as she thought about her role in tearing apart this family. How she had climbed into bed with Lucky time and again, knowing he loved Liz. It was painfully obvious, especially now with Liz's cries, and his apologies.

She could only imagine Jesse's blue eyes clouding over with disappoint. She suddenly felt trapped in her skin, and she couldn't stand another second in that room. A room she never should have entered that booze-filled night last winter.

Careful to not reveal her body to Cameron, she redressed under the covers. Standing on her shaky feet, she closed her eyes for a moment. The alcohol from last night was still fresh in her system.

Tentatively, she slowly opened the bedroom door. Her heart broke for the hurting couple as Lucky reached for Liz, only for her to angrily shove him away, tears coursing down both their faces.

As she daringly opened the door a little wider, she spotted Nikolas in the far corner of the room, silently watching her. Her throat suddenly became dry, and the pounding in her head was more insistent, as she realized he must of told Elizabeth. How else would she have known? A sense of betrayal washed over her, as she gripped the doorknob, using the door for leverage.

Why she was hurt, she didn't know. Nikolas was nothing to her. He had no loyalty to her, or any reason to not tell his long time friend about her cheating husband. Yet, for some reason it bothered her. She had just assumed when she had come parading out of the bathroom the other day, that he would keep it a secret. That he would protect her.

"Why is that slut still here?" Liz's voice rung throughout the suddenly quiet apartment, as everyone's eyes landed on her.

Maxie closed her eyes, tears threatening to spill over. "I'm leaving now." She forced through clenched teeth. Her head hurt so bad. The room began to spin, and her knees buckled, as Lucky rushed over to her, but it was Nikolas's strong arms that stopped her from hitting the hard wood floor.

Despite the pounding in her brain, the security of Nikolas's arms felt better than anything had to Maxie in a long time.

"It'll be okay." His whispered reassurances didn't fall on deaf ears, although she probably shouldn't have believed them, she did.

"It's okay."

"Jesse did love you."

"Shhh."

"I don't hate you."

Then everything went black.

* * *

Maxie shot straight up, shoving the quilt off of her.

"Are you feeling better?"

She ran a hand through her short blond hair, peering up at him as he walked around the couch and poured himself a glass of whiskey. "Where's Lucky?"

"He is at home, packing his stuff. Liz kicked him out. He asked me take care of you, seeing as though you were still extremely drunk you couldn't exactly be left alone. Who knows the damage you would have caused."

Maxie glared at him. "Is Lucky moving in here?"

Nikolas shook his head. "My brother and I living together would be a disaster, but I will do what I can to make sure he has a place to stay."

Maxie wet her lips, watching as he took a sip of his drink, wondering what that combination must taste like. Nikolas and whiskey.

"You two used to be close."

"That was before he lost all of his ethics, and started using you and Liz for his own selfish needs."

Maxie rolled her eyes. "Why do you care if he uses me or not?"

"I don't. I just don't like having to watch my brother destroy his life."

Maxie shook her head. Lucky was far from destroying his life, simply because he was Spencer. He could do just about anything and be forgiven. In a few months, he would be returned to Liz's warm, loving arms, and she would still be alone in her cold reality. Without Jesse's blue eyes, or dimples.

Not that Jesse would want her now anyway. She was far from the Maxie Jones who had risked her life to protect him. Sometimes she wondered if that Maxie had even ever existed, or if it was all just a hallucination. Had she really been loved at one time, by a young, beautiful, nearly flawless, but torn boy? And had she really loved him, selflessly in return, nearly died for him, begged him stay despite her pride? Was she ever any different than she was now? Did she actually used to be real?


	3. Chapter 3

_Do you want me, like I want you?  
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?  
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?  
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?  
Was that you passing me by?_  
**Standing Still by Jewel **

Maxie crossed her arms over her chest. "I am twenty years old, and perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

Nikolas shrugged, calmly choosing to ignore her pathetic attempts to persuade him to let her leave. "You are not leaving. Not until I know you are completely sober."

"Why? Are you afraid I'm going to reek more havoc? I promise I'll be good." She insisted.

He shook his head. "No. Maxie. I just do not think it is a right for me to let you wander the streets in your condition."

Her eyes widened, as she threw her arms up, exasperated. "Condition! I'm hung over, and maybe still just a tad bit tipsy. People get drunk on a daily basis."

He raised an eyebrow. "Yes. But you are not like other people. Mix Maxie Jones and a few shots of vodka, and you have a potential end the of the world."

Maxie's eyebrows shot straight up, and if Nikolas was anyone else, he would have been nervous. But he knew her, despite their lack of interaction. One lonely night, a few months back he had watched her sleep fitfully on his couch, only weeks after loosing Jesse and Courtney, and that had been the only time he really needed to understand the supposedly complex Maxie Jones.

"You and I are barely friends. You hate me. It's not any of your business if I'm running the streets fucked up as hell. If I want to…I have every right." She went on, her small index finger pointing toward him, as she struggled to make her point. "I don't need you to watch over me."

Swiftly, she darted around him, and almost made it to the door before his strong arms snaked around her waist from behind, lifting her petite frame from the floor. She shrieked, her body moving in every possible angle in an attempt to free herself, as he easily kept his grasp on her.

"Maxie. Calm down. Please." He whispered into her ear. He made sure to keep his voice even, and not let any of his building frustration into his tone.

She stiffened as his lips brushed her neck, not quite registering his words. Her small, bare feet landed softly on the wooden floor as she stopped struggling. There was something about the way it felt to be held by someone like Nikolas. It made her feel safe. Loveable. Like she didn't destroy everything she touched. But her body had yet to relax, her hands moving up to clench his arms.

It wasn't until she heard a sweet whispered "It's okay. Please…Don't cry," did she even realize she had been crying. Her nails dug into his arms, as she turned her face away from the warmth of his breath and the security of his voice.

"Let me go." She whimpered.

His arms slowly unwrapped from around her shaking body, leaving her even colder than she was before he had touched her. Swallowing thickly, she squared her shoulders, and wiped her remaining tears away.

She hated people like him. Hated their ability to convince you they cared, when in reality their love was reserved for only the most deserving. She was far from deserving, especially now, with the taste of vodka still on her tongue, and memories of Jesse now mixed with dirty, self-destructive ones of Lucky.

"Just let me leave. You know just as much as I do that you don't want me here."

Nikolas shook his head. "If you weren't welcome, you would be gone by now."

"But we both know that I defiantly don't belong here." Her voice came out weaker than she expected, and she found herself wanting him to deny it. To ask her to stay for reasons that could never be true.

But he remained silent.

"So does that mean I can leave?" She asked.  
His eyes closed momentarily, and she wasn't sure if it was out of annoyance, thought, or something else entirely. She was probably better off not knowing.

"I would rather you not. I think it is best that you stay here until you are rested. But like you said we are barely friends. I have no say over you. You are a young woman. So its your decision."

Her eyes snapped to his, and for a split second she considering staying. Considered allowing herself to be cared for, even if it was just temporarily. Then she remembered that this was reality. And he was a prince, already in love with a princess.

She forced a smile, wondering if he noticed that it didn't quite reach her eyes. Not that he would care, or that she wanted him to.

She shrugged. "I guess I'll see you. Luckily for you I'm not banging Lucky anymore, so you won't have worry about that."

"It is for the best" He agreed. "Not just for Lucky, but for you also. Maxie, my brother is a good man, but he should not have used your pain and insecurities like he did."

"I shouldn't have let him."

"No. But he knew what he was doing just as much as you did."

"Yeah…" She weakly agreed, reaching for the doorknob.

"Maxie."

"Yeah…"

"Have a good evening, and please try to be safe. I would hate to have to come to your rescue within an hour of letting you out on your own."

She laughed half-heartedly. "Me…trouble. No." She mocked, opening the door.

"Maxie…" His voice was serious.

She sighed. "I promise…I'll try."

He smiled, and she had no choice but to return it. She stalled, once again wanting to stay, but the thought was fleeting, and she quickly came crashing back to the cruel reality of who he was, and who she wasn't. So she left, gently shutting the door behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

-1_**Cuttin' through the darkest night in my two headlights  
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here to the twilight  
There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right  
You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight  
Standing Still By Jewel**_

Part 4

Despite Nikolas' warnings she found herself at the infamous Jake's bar, downing her fifth shot. Or was it her sixth? She had lost count about an hour ago, but who was she to deny free alcohol. Especially when it was being supplied by a sexy, young, blond, blue-eyed hunk sitting a couple stools away.

She concentrated on the warmth as it spread through her stomach, and up towards her heart. B.J's heart. A bitter laugh sounded from her, and Maxie almost didn't recognize it as her own.

B.J. had been giving, selfless. And she had died, the only living part of her tucked safely into the chest of who? A liar, adulteress, sinner.

Another shot glass was sat in front of her, and Maxie gladly wrapped her perfectly manicured hand around it.

Her admirer began to advance toward, licking his lips, as her mouth separated from the glass.

"Hey gorgeous." His husky voice caught her attention, and she smiled sexily as his eyes took her in. " You're drunk, aren't you?"

She shook her head. "Nope, just tipsy. I know how to handle my alcohol."

He raised his eyebrows, a knowing smile gracing his lips. "Is that so?" He questioned, placing another shot of everclear in front of her.

She bit her bottom lip. If Jesse were here, he would have drug her out of there twenty sips ago, and berated her about her irresponsible antics.

But Jesse wasn't there. The untouched glass in front of her was just another taunting reminder, as was the strangers fingers as they trailed lightly up her thigh.

His lips brushed her ear, and it took every ounce of her self control not to flinch at the unbearable smell of cigarettes and alcohol tickling her nose.

"Come on, blondie. Drink it," He urged

She looked at the young man; he was a little younger than Jesse had been. Blond curls fell over his forehead and into his eyes. Guys with curly hair used to turn her on.

She vaguely remembered begging Jesse to let his dark curls grow out a little bit. He had laughed, his diaphragm vibrating against her bare skin, as they lay tangled in bed. He had insisted that his hair was fine the way it was.

Absentmindedly, her hand brushed away a hair from the stranger's forehead, drawing back when blond softness brushed her hand.

A shuttering breath left her, as she clenched the shot glass, bringing it to her lips, drinking it.

Now, she couldn't quite remember why she ever liked long, curly hair on guys. She much preferred short, dark, thick locks to run her curious fingers through.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," He mumbled, kissing right below her ear.

She closed her eyes, the lighting of the room suddenly too bright. Her hands grasped the counter, as she attempted to stand; his roaming lips and hands making her feel unsettled.

She groaned quietly, her small frame unwillingly falling against him. "What..the..hell?" She whispered the sound of her own voice foreign to her ears.

The room began to spin, and everything went black.

* * *

Nikolas stole another glance at the clock. It had been over four hours since Maxie had stomped out of Wyndermere, her blue's shining with anger and unshed tears.

He knew she was far from the delicate girl she had been the first time Jesse had caused tears to fall from her baby blue eyes. She was stronger, and more mature on some aspects; others, not so much.

She was no longer the little girl who foolishly adored his little brother. She was a woman. A woman who was of no importance to him. She had bedded his married brother, would probably have done it again if given the chance.

Still, there had been something oddly heartbreaking about the vastness in her blue depths. The way she had glanced back at him, her blue orbs peeking up at him through her lashes, for a short, breathless moment she was once again the little girl asking him absorb questions about what kind of girl his brother preferred. Then, she had left, leaving him emptier than he was before, if that was possible.

But, she was not that little princess in need of a prince anymore. And even if she was, he was far from any of the princes in storybooks. He was dark, calloused, and demented. Somewhere deep in all her pain and resentment, her blue eyes were still shining with love for Jesse. She could still feel. That part of him was completely tarnished.

Yet, he could not shake the feeling of dread residing in the pit of his stomach. She was a naturally impulsive person, and he did not take a liking to the images of her stripping for ignorant, hormonal boys. Their greasy hands sliding up her slender legs, up to her perfectly curved alabaster waist.

His jaw tightened, as he dialed her cell phone number. It did not even ring twice before the call was forwarded to the voicemail.

'Hey. This is Maxie. I didn't answer, obviously. So, leave me a message, and I just might return your call.'

The lightness he heard in her voice caught him off guard. She must have recorded it before Jesse…

His fingers began to idly dance across the digits of her number, absentmindedly dialing it again, before slamming his phone closed.

He sighed. He knew the instant she left the security of the mansion, that she would get into mischief. But, she was not his problem, and he refused to waste another second musing on what she could be doing, or rather who. It was not his job to care for her.

Except, He could not shake the memory of her petite figure parading out of the bathroom, clad in only a towel that day at Lucky's. Her entire body had flushed a bright pink, and he had wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and restore the innocence that her mother, Lucky and Jesse had stolen.

No matter how often the memory of her pink hued skin crept into his mind he would not entertain the possibility of seeing her bare skin again. She was a damaged woman already. And he was no one's hero.


	5. Chapter 5

Jeremy dropped the gorgeous blond onto his bed, wetting his lips at the way her cleavage seemed to reveal itself more from this position.

He groaned deep in his throat, his large hands ripping her flimsy blouse off, immediately dipping down to lick between her breasts.

"God, I want you." He murmured, moving up to her unresponsive lips, before unsnapping her jeans.

* * *

_'Hey. This is Maxie. I didn't answer, obviously. So, leave me a message, and I just might return your call."_

Nikolas tried to grasp the remained tidbits of his control, when his call was once again forwarded to Maxie's voicemail. He should have known better than to let her out of his sight, until every last ounce of alcohol was out of her system.

Granted, her determination to leave would have wore on his patience after a few hours, but at least he would have known she was safe. There was always the option of locking her in one of the guest rooms

_"Me…trouble. No."_ He scoffed at the memory of her words. Trouble and Maxie went hand in hand. You could not have one without the other.  
Her smile flashed through his mind. Her nerve-grating yet anger

diminishing smile. That was all it took and Nikolas was slamming the door to Wyndermere, searching his cellphone for Georgie's number as he went.

* * *

Jeremy gently tugged her jeans down her lean legs, before running his tongue and hands up the newly revealed skin.

"Damn…you're so sexy." He mumbled, latching his mouth onto her inner thigh.

* * *

"Hello, Georgie, it's Nikolas Cassadine." Nikolas cleared his throat when Georgie failed to answer immediately.

"Uh, hey." She replied, sounding surprised and taken back by his sudden call.

Suddenly, Nikolas wondered if she even knew about her sister's affair with his brother.

"I was just calling to see if you happened to know where Maxie might be."  
He heard her consult someone else. " Why?" She demanded. "Nikolas, what's going on?"

In an almost demented way, he felt special knowing that he was the only one that knew about the events of the last few hours. The only one that had seen her eyes as they had filmed with tears at the sight of Lucky and Elizabeth .  
He had knowledge of things that not even her dear little sister had.

He sighed. He did not have time to explain himself. And part of him did not want to share the short time he had shared with Maxie with her. It was his. After finding her, he would return her safely to Mac, away from Lucky and himself. And he would make sure that those few, short hours he had spent with her, would be the last.

He would not damage her. He refused to allow himself to tangle his darkness around her light, smothering it.

"Georgie, Trust me." He pleaded. "I need to know."

He could sense the young girl's hesitation. He could hear it in her small intake of breath, feel it in the long pause before she finally answered. "She said something about going to Jake's."

His entire body tensed at the mention of the bar. College boys and older men tended to pack in there, and would be all over a broken girl like Maxie.  
"Thank you so much." He answered, his voice coming out weaker than he expected. "I'll call you when I find her."

He flipped his phone shut, before Georgie had a chance to ask any more questions.

* * *

The young blond stirred slightly, startling Jeremy enough for him to remove his mouth from her body and focus his attention on her suddenly twisted facial expression.

"Jesse…" She whimpered.

* * *

Nikolas made his way through the few couples dancing, and over to the bar.

"Mr. Cassadine didn't expect to see you here." Coleman greeted him.

"Looking for a little easy lovin, pretty boy?" He questioned, slamming a shot glass down in front of him.

Nikolas shook his head. "No. I am actually looking for Maxie Jones."

"Oh. That hot, little girl." Coleman mused. "Good pick, pretty boy."

Nikolas eyes narrowed, as he shoved the shot glass roughly back towards the older man, spilling it on the counter. "Have you seen her?" He demanded.

Coleman chuckled. "Want her that bad, huh?"

Nikolas sighed. "I do not have time for your games."

Retrieving his wallet from his pocket, he placed two one-hundred bills on the table.

Coleman licked his lips, and snatched the money off the counter. "Blondie went upstairs with some college hunk, about an hour ago. She seemed pretty wasted though. You might want to wait to hit it."

"What room?" Nikolas questioned.  
"two."

* * *

An adamant pounding on the door had Jeremy jumping to his feet, his hand nervously running through his blond curls.

"Maxie, it is Nikolas. Let me in, please."

"Shit." He hissed, clenching his teeth, when Maxie groaned quietly, stirring even more.

The knocking repeated, and Jeremy had to refrain from slamming his fist into the wall. There weren't any other doors or windows he could make an escape through. He was stuck.

"I know you are in there."

The knocking became more insistent, as the man on the other side grew impatient.

"Maxie, I am not leaving until you open this door."

Jeremy cleared his throat noisily. "Ugh, sir…there is no Maxie here."

"I need to talk to Maxie. Unlock this door." Nikolas demanded, the doorknob rattling as he violently wiggled it.

Maxie's lips pressed together in a tight line, her entire face contorted in pain. "Nikolas…" Her voice was quiet and raspy, but more than enough to catch Jeremy's complete attention,

"Shut the hell up." He ordered, his voice low and harsh, as his hand clamped down on her mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby I can feel your halo  
Pray ït won't fade away **__  
_-'Halo' by Beyonce

**Part 6**

Nikolas could not recall a time in his life when he couldn't think clearly, when he did not have a rational response for what was happening at the moment. But as the image of Maxie's young, innocent skin being mauled danced through his mind, he found himself throwing his entire body against the door, the muscles in his arms, and back flexing.

"Maxie!" He exclaimed. "I am here." He assured her.

He could only imagine how stupid he would feel if she really was not on the other side, but he would not take the chance, he could not.

When the door finally gave in beneath his rampage, the rage inside him only increased at the sight of the half naked, clearly intimidated young man standing at the foot of the bed.

"You…" He grit through clenched teeth, advancing on the barely legal boy. "You disgust me." Then his fist was connecting with his chin, cheek, nose. Nikolas could not bring himself to stop, not when the images of this scums body hovering over his little girl's was still fresh in his mind.

His. A combination of that word and a small gurgle of a word sounding from Maxie's throat had him pausing mid-swing, and only then did he notice that the boy was unconscious.

He breathed out, sharply, before looking over at Maxie, clad in only a pink lace bra and panty set. His eyes softened, as he moved toward the bed, sat down, and took her soft face in his hands.

"Maxie…baby, it's okay." He whispered. "I'm here now."

She stirred slightly, her body curling into his warmth, startlingly him by the sudden contact.

"Jes…" She whimpered, stopping mid-word as if it suddenly clicked in her mind. "Nik…las."

He nodded frantically, though she could not see him. "Yeah. I'm here. It is me." He answered, his lips pressing to her cheek. "I'm sorry, I never should have let you leave."

Suddenly, the situation sunk in. He had get her to General Hospital and fast.

Tugging his shirt over his head, he placed it on the bed beside her. Careful not to jar her too much, he lifted her upper body from the body, his eyes straying to her breasts for a short moment before he pulled his dress shirt over her small body.

Lifting her into his arm, he made sure to precisely place her head into the crook of his neck. Her petite form, even in her state of oblivion melted naturally into his, her even breathing tickling his tanned neck, as he carried her out of the small room, and right passed the knocked out piece of trash who had taken advantage of her.

* * *

He watched her as she slept, her chest rising and falling through the thin hospital gown. He figured she would be in a lot of pain when she woke up after having her stomach pumped, so he did not have the heart to leave her,  
And when Lucky had failed to show up at all, he had dried her tears. Even after Georige, Mac, and Robin has gone home, he had stayed. Against regulation of course, but those never applied to a person with as much money as him anyhow.

"Maxie…why are you so crazy?" He whispered, chuckling, taking her small hand in his own. "You know, you really do not have to do these things for attention. People care, despite whether you take these risks. You have always had my attention, whether I let you know it or not."

She remained silent, the pain medication the doctors had given her was really strong, and Nikolas could only hope she stayed asleep for a few more hours. He could not stand to see her beautiful eyes film with tears one more time, or her face cringe in pain. And he hated everyone who had ever caused them too, even his own brother to an extent.

He brought her small hand to his mouth, and kissed it. She stirred slightly, her blue eyes fluttering open, immediately filling with unshed tears, her free hand moving directly to her abdomen.

"Nikolas…it hurts." She complained, her voice breaking.

"I know…" He sympathized, moving to stand. "Just let me go get the doctor and I will get you some more pain relievers." He promised.

But her small hand wrapped around his wrist, her eyes wide and teary as they peered up into his. "No…" She ordered. "Stay…you being here…it helps more than any drugs." She paused, blushing at her own words, before continuing, "Just talk to me."

He smiled at the innocence she still seemed to obtain, and the blush as it crept up her neck and face.

"Alright. I will stay." He promised.

She hesitated before smiling. "Even if I fall asleep."

He nodded. "I will not leave."

She pressed her lips together. "You will stay all night." She repeated, emphasizing the words 'will' and 'all night'.

He chuckled. "Yes, Maxie."

She glared at him, "Don't laugh at me."

He smiled. "I am not." He disagreed, "It is just…"

Her eyebrows shot up. "What…its just what…I'm what? Nikolas!" Her voice was raising with each syllable, as her slender finger appeared in his face.

He grasped her hand in his, which only proved to provoke her more. "I thought you were in pain." He reminded her.

Her full lips formed an oh as she gasped, ripping her hand from his grasp. "You know what…I changed my mind. Leave. You make the pain worst."

He could not help but smile at her hysterical antics. "Maxie…I did not mean anything by it." He assured her. "You are just…something else." He explained, "I have never met anyone as…spontaneous…as you." He stated, choosing his adjective carefully.

Her blue eyes narrowed, but he could not help but notice the small smile playing at the corners of her lips.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going back to sleep now, so just…shut up." She demanded, her voice joking.

He nodded, silently readjusting himself in the recliner beside her bed, watching as she turned her back to him.

Looking over her shoulder, quietly she said, "Don't leave." She ordered, her voice stern.

He smiled to himself. "Maxie…"

"Nikolas…" She whispered, and the sudden vulnerability in her voice had him frowning.

"I promise, all night."

Soon, the only sound was Maxie's even breathing as it slowly lulled Nikolas to sleep with the knowledge that she was safe.


	7. Chapter 7

Maxie Jones' blue eyes fluttered opened, immediately landing on the empty recliner beside her bed. Empty. The word reverberated in her mind, as tears filmed her eyes.

He left. He had actually left after continually promising her he wouldn't. She blinked rapidly, fighting back the tears. She refused to cry. She was accustomed to this; to the broken promises, and empty notions of feeling.

But she would be lying if she said she didn't feel safe, when she woke up last night and Nikolas was there. For a short while she had thought he cared, that she was more than just some girl to someone. But who was she fooling. After all, she was his brother's former mistress.

Then the scent of donuts assaulted her nostrils, and the crumpling of a paper bag had her eyes shifting up. Her lips parted slightly, a short breath whooshing out of her tired lungs at the sight of Nikolas' smiling face.

"You left." She accused, breathless.

His mouth immediately moved to explained, but she interrupted him.

"But, you came back." She added, smiling slightly, "And you brought donuts."

He returned her smile, held up the bag for her curious eyes, and took a couple steps toward the bed, still unsure of her reaction of his being there. "Yeah, I did." He agreed. "I assumed you would be hungry."

Her eyebrows drew together, her lips into a tight line. "Why did you stay with me last night?" She asked.

He shrugged. "You asked me to." He responded, as if that explained it all.

Her eyes narrowed. "But why?" She pushed on. She wanted a specific answer. She wanted to hear how special she or how pathetic she was in detail leave his lips.

He reclaimed his seat in the recliner, placing the bag of donuts on the bed beside her. "I could not just leave you alone." He explained.

There it was, she could sense it, see it in the way his lips parted, feel it in the tension that suddenly settled between them; the words he wanted to say but wasn't quite sure how.

She smiled sadly. They could never be anything. She didn't deserve someone as caring as Nikolas. Someone who would actually be there to clean up her messes, to catch her right at the last second.

No, she didn't deserve to be loved, not again. Not after the way she had tarnished Jesse's memory by jumping into bed with his married partner.

Sensing her sudden change in mood, Nikolas cupped her chin, forcing her watering blue eyes to meet his. The sudden skin to skin contact had warmth spreading through out his entire body, and he remembered why he had to avoid touching her overly mauled, innocent flesh. It was addicting to him. One brush of it against his own, and he forgot all the reasons why he should stay away; why he would destroy such innocence.

"Maxie?" He whispered her name, and tears fell lazily down her cheeks, which he could not help but wipe away. "What is wrong?" He questioned. "You are safe now." He promised, "Jeremy is in jail, and I will do everything in my power to make sure he stays that way for a long time."

Her only response was a shake of her head, her small hands coming up to cover his.

"Maxie…" He attempted to pull his hand away, but her grip only tightened, as she leaned forward. "Don't…" He quietly objected, before her soft lips brushed his.

Immediately, she drew back, before he could even respond.

Her eyes were overflowing with uncontrollable tears. Her lips formed his earlier words, "Don't."

Everything about her expression only made Nikolas hate himself that much more.

"Maxie…I am sorry." He urgently attempted to fix what he had damaged, as the new onslaught of tears spilled over onto her cheeks. Tears caused by him, because she thought he did not want her. But it was because something entirely different.

At least now, she could still feel; could still cry. He would not be the reason she became completely numb and unfeeling.

"Get out…" She ordered, her voice shaking slightly.

He swallowed thickly. "Maxie…"

"Leave!" Her voice rose, becoming hoarse.

He nodded, and stood up from the chair, exiting her room.

Maybe it was best this way. Maybe this way she could learn to just forget about him; forget about his brother. And heal from loosing Jesse on her own, and perhaps one day return to the once innocent, vibrant Maxie Jones.

But could he return to normal after tasting her? After seeing her pink hued skin after she came parading out of the bathroom that day at Lucky's. Could he forget the rush of rage that swept through his entire body at the sight of her passed out on the bed? Or the way her hair fanned out on his sofa, her even breathing returning some life to the oversized mansion he called home.

Could he simply just erase the past few, nearly perfect, very nerve-grating days from his memory?


	8. Chapter 8

It had been two weeks; two long weeks since he had seen Maxie's horrified face as she had screamed at him to leave. It had been the longest two weeks of Nikolas' life thus far.

And that night, when he entered Jake's, his golden eyes immediately spotted the petite blond guzzling down shot after shot. He stood in the middle of the nearly empty dance floor, his hungry eyes taking in her barely clothed body as she swiveled in the bar stool, each turn causing her tiny denim skirt to ride up just that much more.

Then memories of that night were crashing against his conscious, one after the other; memories of her unconscious, barely clothed, on that bed, and the feelings of arousal that creep must have felt as he ran his hands across her body. And he was rushing toward her, pushing through the few dancing couples that were on the floor, his strides long for his short legs.

"Maxie…" He greeted, his voice low, concerned.

She smiled, clearly intoxicated, her small hand almost seeming to comfortably land on Nikolas' upper thigh. "Mr. Cassadine!" She shrieked. "Finally, you decide to loosen up a bit." Her free hand was insistently shoving her shot glass in his face, begging him to drink it. "Come on…princey. I'll take care of you…promise."

And when her small pink tongue snaked out to wet her bottom lip, he was almost tempted to take her up on that offer. But he knew that was the last thing she needed. But, damn being near her, when she was like this; so free and vulnerable made it so easy to forget his list of reasons of why they would be so wrong together.

His hand gently wrapped around her wrist, forcing her to return the shot glass to the counter. "Maxie…let me take you home."

She smiled devilishly at his choice of words. "Nikolas…do you think I'm that easy?" She questioned, leaning forward to trace the shell of his ear with her tongue, effectively showing more cleavage with the new position.

She let out a small giggle and wiggled in her seat, when Nikolas groaned quietly. But Nikolas was quick to snap back to reality, when Maxie nearly lost her balance and had to use his shoulder for leverage to remain seated.  
Taking her smaller hand in his own, he stood up. "Maxie, no more games." He bit out. "We are leaving, now."

Her eyebrows lifted, as she stood up, bursting into another fit of giggles when she stumbled on her three inch hells, falling harshly into his side. "Princey is eager tonight?" She teased, the stench of alcohol leaving such beautiful lips making him want to gag.

He closed his eyes for a split second, the feel of her body melting into his as he helped her regain balance was almost too much. It was almost enough to make him forget her affair with his brother, his ex-wife with being with the local mobster. For a split second he almost wanted to allow her to be his salvation.

But he knew it did not work that way. He would surely destroy her before she could save him.

Though, as her slender fingers ran through his short hair, her breath tickling his cheek, her lips nearing his, he didn't stop her. Because it had been two weeks since he had tasted her, since he had become addicted to her unique light wrapped in dark. So, as her lips brushed his, surprisingly gentle, her earlier drunken insistence melting away into his arms, he allowed it to happen. Allowed his darkness to mingle with what little light she had left.

Then she was angling her body differently, pressing it more flush against his, and his hands found their way to her waist. And then she was consuming him, and in return him her. He had to remember this, savor this; every sweet touch, flavor, sound.

His larger hands encompassed hers and untangled them from his hair. Immediately, she pulled away, her blue eyes wide, as her chest heaved with each breath.

She was beautiful and vulnerable to him. And he was about to destroy her.

"Maxie…" He said her name, and she was already moving toward him again.  
He shook his head. "I can't…."

The tears formed in her eyes, the complete trust disappearing from her gaze. She shook her head, looking down, her hair shielding her face from his view.

"What?" She demanded. "Was this just some joke? Some bet, to see if you could use me right along with your good old baby brother…" She accused, "Fuck you, Nikolas! I actually cared about your brother, believe it or not. And I thought he cared about me too."

Then she was turning around, ripping herself from his arms, as she stumbled out of Jake's.


	9. Chapter 9

Nikolas exited Jake's, his eyes searching for a certain intoxicated blond. When he spotted her, she was leaning forward, a few sweat slicked strands of hair stuck to her forehead as she vomited.

Hastily, he moved to her side, pulling her short hair from her face. "Maxie, I am here." He assured her. "I am not leaving you."

Her tear stained face turned toward him, her small hand coming up to wipe the remains of her puke from her pretty face. She shook her head, mumbling drunken protests to his words, the whole time allowing her body to be pulled into his arms.

"You'll leareve" She slurred. "Everyone does."

He shook his head, scooping the barely conscious blond into his arms. "No I will not." He repeated.

* * *

Nikolas watched as Maxie struggled with her keys, the metal rings slipping from her shaking hands.

Supporting her weight with one arm, he bent down to retrieve her house key. "It's alright. I have it." He reassured her, when her small hand attempted to pry the keys from his grasp.

Seeming to trust him, she relaxed against his left side, laying her head on his shoulder, as he unlocked the door. Kicking it open with his foot, he helped Maxie over to the couch, where she gladly plopped down, relaxing into the plush cushions.

Nikolas took a moment to make sure she was alright, before moving over to the door to close it.

Panicked by his sudden nearness to the door, Maxie eyes widened, her body snapping into an upright position. "Stay…" She pleaded, tears forming in her eyes.

"Maxie…" He whispered, closing the door with a soft click, watching as she struggled to get to her feet, before stumbling over to him, falling directly into his arms.

He sighed, catching her as she fell against him.

"Stay." She repeated, her voice lower, as her tongue trailed along his neck and jaw. "Please, stay."

He groaned, and gently pushed her away. "Maxie, We can not do this, not when you are like this."

Frantically her small hands reached for his face and when he saw the tears gathering in her eyes, he hated himself a little more.

"I know exactly what I want…" She whimpered. "I want you, now."

And with the combination of her watering eyes and the feel of her body as she slid it across his, Nikolas allowed her to grasp his face between her small hands and pull it closer to her own.

"Maxie…" He whispered, before her lips fused to his, her hands moving from his face to his neck to hold him in place.

Hissing, Nikolas wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

"We should not do this." He protested, but even as the words were leaving his mouth, he was creating a path of fire down her neck with his talented mouth, stopping right above her breasts.

She arched against him, silently begging him to not stop; to love her, if only for a few short hours. He groaned deep in his throat, when her slender hips thrust against his.

"Nikolas." She pleaded, practically ripping his shirt from his body with shaking hands.

Capturing her small hands in his larger ones, her blue eyes snapped up to his, and only then did he see the tears dancing on her eyelashes.  
She attempted to wiggle free from his grasp, and when she failed to do so she pressed herself flush against his growing manhood.

His eyes closed momentarily, before snapping back open. Releasing one of her hands, he trailed his fingers along her cheek, catching the first of many tears on his thumb.

"This is not what you need." He whispered, leaning forward to kiss away her tears, intrigued by her sharp intake of breath at his nearness. "You need a friend."

Her simple response was a strangled sob.

"And I am going to be that for you." He promised. "I will not leave you, Maxie. But I also refuse to be more than what we are. I would only hurt you in the end. And I would never want to hurt you."

Her teary eyes looked up into his, and for a short moment Nikolas found it hard to breath at the sight of all the emotions swirling in her blue eyes. Then she flung herself into his arms, and his eyes closed at the feel of her, as she sobbed into his chest.

"Never leave." She whimpered.

He swallowed. "Never…" He repeated.


	10. Chapter 10

Maxie's eyes snapped open, her entire body tensing at the feel of a very masculine body pressed against her back. Tears gathered in her eyes as all the possible scenarios floated around in her mind. What if she had slept with a low life scum bag. She shivered at the thought, as the familiar used feeling washed over her; the same feeling she always got right after sleeping with Lucky.

Then she heard that voice.

"You alright?" It questioned.

And immediately all the stress drained from her, as her body relaxed against his touch.

"Nikolas…" She whimpered, turning around in his arms and burying her face into his chest.

Tears gathered in her eyes when she realized that they were both still fully clothed. He hadn't used her, hadn't taken advantage her. Not that she suspected him too.

Just the thought that he could actually care for her, and not just sexually ache for her. Which the sexual ache was defiantly there, she could feel it pressed against her lower abdomen.

"Maxie…" He ground out, when her hips naturally bucked against his erection. "Stop."

Her movements stopped at his order, her teary eyes peering into his, preparing herself for the blow of rejection; for the small ache of wanting to be more, to be worthy of Nikolas' touch.

She felt him sigh against her, felt his breath against her face, tickling her neck.

"Maxie…" He whispered, his fingers trailing lightly against her cheek, catching her few stray tears on his thumb. "We can not."

"Why?" She questioned, though she already knew the answer. It was obvious. Why would a prince ever want a cursed princess. This wasn't a fairytale. Nikolas wasn't going to save her from the evil dragon. No, this was her all too real, painful life.

"Because I do not deserve you." He stated, his voice strong despite the sudden emptiness that had taken residence in his eyes.

His response had her completely extracting her body from his, and stumbling out of the bed. Laughing bitterly, she tangled her small hand in her short blond hair.

"Why are you lying?" She demanded.

Nikolas' eyebrows drew together. "I am not." He argued.

She shook her head. "There is no way you actually believe that you don't deserve me."

"But I do not." He explained. "Maxie…you are so much more than you will ever know."

Standing from the bed, he barely managed to catch Maxie as she flung herself into his arms.

"Then stay." She begged. "If I am really that amazing, stay."

"I can not." He protested, prying her small hands from around his neck. "I will not do that to you, Maxie."

"What!" She yelled, taking a few steps back, away from him. "You won't do what? You won't or you can't love me."

Her small hands balled into fists, and in that moment Nikolas wanted so badly to take her, to love her, to erase all the hurts from the past. But he was not her hero, he could not be.

"I can not love you, Maxie." He explained, his voice soft. "I will not let myself."

"Are you afraid I'll hurt you; that I'll destroy you just like all the others?" She questioned, tears, anger, and desperation all dancing in her eyes. "Cus I wouldn't. Not you."

He reached for her for a split second, before quickly dropping his arm. And the look on her face when he did so broke what there was left of him. The tears as they finally fell down her porcelain cheeks made him want to run, made him need to hold her.

"I can not love you." He repeated. "I will not bring you heartache like I did Emily."

Her fiery, teary blue eyes snapped to his. " That's what this is about!" She yelled. "You still love your little precious Emily." Her voice stalled, a single sob shaking her shoulders. "Well, you can have her. I don't care." She declared.

"Maxie…" He was not sure what to say. He wanted to assure her that what he had with Emily was completely over. He wanted to open himself up to her completely; be able to hold her as she fell apart in his arms. So badly, he wanted to confess his feelings for her, before taking her back to bed and making love to her sweat slicked body; to watch her eyes as they brimmed with happy tears. He wanted to make her feel loved; to make her happy.

"Don't…just don't." She whimpered. "Just leave."

"Maxie…" He said her name again, only this time he was desperate. And all the things he had said moments before about not being able to love her were forgotten. He could not possibly just leave her like this alone to be able to maul over all the gruesome possibilities in her insecure mind.

"Please leave…" She ordered weakly.

He shook his head. "Not when you are like this."

"Like what?" She asked. "Desperate and needy!" She let out a bitter laugh. "I thought you didn't want to bring me heartache!" She bit out.

"I do not."

"Well every breath you take hurts me." She stated, her eyes narrowing. "You being here, seeing you hurts me. Knowing that I am so unlovable you won't even fuck me."

A lump formed in his throat, as he struggled to find some kind of response; one that would not contradict his earlier protests.

"I am sorry." Was all he came up with, before leaving her small apartment.

And as the door closed, the soft click resounding in both their minds, Nikolas kept telling himself he was doing the right thing. At least this way he would not destroy her. Unless he already had.


	11. Chapter 11

His hand hovered just mere inches from Maxie's apartment door. Everything inside of Nikolas was screaming for him to knock, but everything inside of him also knew he shouldn't. His fist did not even make contact with the wood of the door, before the door was swinging open, his eyes meeting a pair of shocked blue ones.

Hunger quickly replaced the shock in the petite blonde's eyes, as her small hands wrapped around the collar of his shirt, tugging him into the apartment, pulling him closer. Her plush lips pressed against his, dominating him, erasing all rational thought from his mind. All he could see was her; feel Maxie, taste Maxie, everything Maxie.

Her small hands skimmed his body, unbuttoning buttons, unzipping zippers, caressing every piece of newly bared flesh as she went. And even though he knew he should there was something in her eyes, something about her shaking hands that made him not stop her this time. He did not have the strength to reject her; to have to push the one person he wanted more than life itself away one more time.

She broke the kiss, her small breasts heaving, her lips swollen. She was simply beautiful, but this was no time to be gentle, no time for proclamations of undying love. For them it was a little late for that. They were both far too broken.

His hands skimmed her sides provoking a shiver from her slender body. Harshly tearing the clothes from her slender form, sucking and biting the entire way. As he roughly entered her, not even the undeniable of feeling of completeness that washed over both of them could calm the rage of their caresses.

* * *

Tears poured from Maxie's eyes as the words spewed from Nikolas' mouth.

"This can never happen again!" He stated, shoving her hands from his jean clad, hardening manhood.

Her eyes widened, her throat convulsed, and her small hand harshly connected with the side of his face. "Fuck you." She hissed, tears gathering in the depths of her blue eyes. "I hate you!"

He gritted his teeth together. "Good. It's better that way."

He turned to leave, her small hand on his upper arm, her nails digging into his flesh, stopping him

"I know you feel it." She whimpered.

His eyes closed. "Maxie…

"Nikolas….

"Feel what?"

"Don't give me that!" She ordered. "Look at me! Damnit look at me."

He turned around, the intensity of her blue eyes piercing through all his walls.

"Now admit you don't give a damn about me."

He could already taste the words, feel them on the tip of his tongue, but the feel of her small hand on his arm was more intoxicating.

"Maxie…" He begged.

"Nikolas…"

"I care about you…you know I do. But you will always be just my friend."

Her small hand tightened it's hold on him, a sob catching in her throat.

"No." She protested, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, wanting so badly to take her in his arms and take away the ache he had created.

"I don't believe you." She whispered, before attacking his lips with her own, to which Nikolas was helpless but to respond.

Her small hands wound themselves in his hair, while his rested on her slender waist, pulling her closer.

Pulling away, Nikolas rested his forehead against Maxie's.

"Believe it." He whispered, forcing himself to look straight into her blue eyes, and watch as they brimmed with tears at his words.

Her throat convulsed, and he wanted so badly to latch his mouth onto the creamy flesh there. But he did not, instead he backed away, releasing his hold on her, and immediately missing her warmth.

The crackle of flesh connecting with flesh echoed through the otherwise silent room. "Fuck you!" She sobbed. "I hate you."

His eyes closed as the dull string spread throughout the entire left side of his face, her words registering painfully in his mind. She hated him, and in the long run it would be easier on her. This way he would not destroy. It was for the best. Then why did a sudden emptiness wash over him as soon as the words reached his ears?

"Good." He replied, calmly.

Her small hands slammed into his muscular chest.

"I hate you." She repeated. "So much."

"I know."

"Get the fuck out."

He swallowed thickly, as she fell to her knees, her shoulders shaking violently with each sob that ripped through her frail body. Every logical part of him knew he should just leave, walk out that door and never come back. But the illogical part of him, the part that wanted her needed to stay and hold her; to comfort her; to take away the pain he had created.  
Kneeling in front of the ailing blond, he lightly touched her shoulder.

"Maxie…" He whispered.

She harshly shoved his hand away. "I hate you." She repeated.

"I know." He agreed. "But I am not leaving you like this."

"Why?! You obviously don't give a shit about me!"

"You know I care." He disagreed, insistently pulling her toward him. "I am sorry." And he was. Sorry that things could not be different. Sorry that he was the way he was.

Finally after struggling, she relaxed against him, his hands trailing along her back, consoling her as she cried.

"I am here Maxie, I am not going anywhere."


	12. Chapter 12

It was had almost been a month since he had actually seen her broken smile, or seen her jaded blue eyes looking through him, begging him to love her.

There she was less than ten feet away, and he could tell by the tension in her body she sensed it. Then his eyes ventured over to the man accompanying her, his brother, and he was immediately furious, jealous; everything that was uncharacteristic for him to feel. Only Maxie Jones could effect him like this.

It had been less than a month since Lucky and Liz had divorced, and already his brother was preying on a broken and insecure young girl with blue eyes that only seemed to cry for him lately.

Taking long strides he stopped right behind the couple. Maxie turned around, her cold eyes connecting with his.

"Maxie why?" He questioned, his voice low, "Why do you do this stuff to yourself?"

She shrugged. "Why do you refuse to let yourself be happy?"

Roughly, she pushed past him, leaving a surprised Lucky and Nicholas.

Lucky was supposed to be the man who cared for the young blond, but it was Nicholas who hurried after her, and into the cold snow of December.

"Maxie" Her name left his lips, and the plea evident in it scared both of them.

"Don't do this," She begged, "Please don't do this to me."

He took a couple more steps towards her, each sound of the snow beneath his feet caused Maxie to tense that much more, unwanted tears gathering in her eyes.

He stopped right behind her, his large fingers running along the goose bumped flesh of her neck. She tensed, turning around so fast it nearly knocked him off balance.

Her short finger appeared in front of his face. "Don't you dare touch me."

Then her hands were pushing against his chest, the small blows not nearly enough to effect him, but the pure hatred in her blue eyes caused him step back.

"Its none of your damn business whether or not I fuck your brother," She hissed. "Since you refuse to fulfill my needs, someone has to."

Tears actually formed in his eyes. "Maxie, it hurts me to see you do this to yourself," He stated, his voice gentle, "Why must you deny yourself happiness?"

She turned towards him, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "Because the one person who can give it to me refuses."

"Maxie…" He whispered, naturally reaching for her.

She stepped back to avoid his touch. "No." She said, her voice strong and cold.

He watched as the tiny blond walked away, the snowflakes blending in with her hair, and her fuzzy snow boots burying themselves in the white moisture.

He wanted to scream her name, but being who he was he stood there, calmly, watching her feet as she took each excruciating step, separating them more with each one.

* * *

Maxie sunk down into the snow, the coldness not numbing her enough to stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks.

"Maxie…"

She turned around, a wave of disappointment settling over her, when she saw Lucky.

She smiled. "Hey."

"You want to leave?" He asked.

She knew what those words meant. He wanted to take her back to his house; the house he was supposed to share with his wife, a wife he had lost because of his faithlessness.

She shook her head. "No."

"Maxie…" He begged. He needed the warmth of her to forget the family he had ruined.

"No!" She bit out, getting to her feet. "Lucky, no."

With that she walked away. She didn't have any destination in mind, she just had to get away from it all. From Nicholas' rejection, from being Lucky's sex toy.

* * *

Nicholas had yet to move from the spot Maxie had left him. He wet his chapped lips.

_"Because the one person who can give it to me refuses."_

Each time he saw the young blond cry or smile, or just saw her in general he forgot his reasoning for ever having pulled away from her. How could he pull away from the first real thing he had felt since Emily had walked away.

He just feared now that the realization had finally dawned on him, he had hurt Maxie one too many times for her to even consider a future with him.


	13. Chapter 13

-1Maxie Jones finally had some semblance of normal returned to her life. After changing her cell number, she was no longer plagued with calls from Lucky or Nikolas. She was finally learning to breath on her own, without a man. However, every Sunday was still spent at the grave of Jesse.

Her breath stalled the moment she stepped foot into Kelly's. She hadn't seen or heard from Nikolas since winter, and now in mid-April there he was.

He was as beautiful as ever.

But as soon as the thought came, it left when she caught of sight of his companion. Liz's smile was genuine, as was Nikolas' as they exchanged what would be perceived as innocent touches. From Maxie's point of view they were anything but innocent.

Especially when accompanied by the crimson coloring of Liz's cheeks. Since when did she blush? Since when were her and Nikolas close?

She pressed her lips together and fought off the new onslaught of tears. She backed towards the door, her knees barely holding up her slim form. Blindly, she reached behind her, grasping the doorknob. Even when the door opened and she stumbled out into cool spring weather, she couldn't tear her eyes away from his laughing face.

The few days they had spent together he had never laughed. He had smiled, maybe. But never laughed. As soon as she built up the strength to look away, his haunted brown eyes caught hers. The sudden emotions that shot through her, had her awkwardly backing out of the diner completely.

She bit her bottom lip, watching at the door swung closed, separating them. She shook her head, her eyes venturing to his brunette friend. She offered her a small, understanding smile, as if to tell her that she deserved him more.

Hastily, she turned around. It wasn't until she turned the corner, that she was relieved of the heat of his stare.

* * *

Helplessly, Nikolas glanced over at Liz. Her only explanation came in a form of a pity smile.

"If you love her, go after her," she offered, as if it were that simple.

Love. The mention of that word made his mouth dry. It was not something he had ever considered, but now that it was playing in his mind he realized how dangerously close he was to loving Maxie Jones.

"Love," he repeated, before standing and with one last smile to Liz, he left.

He followed his instincts, turning random directions, and walking down streets with stores he knew she adored. Unexpectedly, he found her sitting on a bench on the corner of some street.

Her tiny shoulders were shuddering, and when her tear brimmed eyes focused on him, the hatred he saw made him look away. He cleared his throat in an unsuccessful way to avoid the dreadful conversation he knew was coming.

She shook her head, a bitter laugh sounding from her parted lips. "Why are you following me? I haven't been sleeping with Lucky for months. Not that it would matter anyway, seeing as though Liz is too occupied with you to care."

He closed his eyes at the emotionless of her tone. "Maxie…"

Her throat convulsed, as she sucked in a raspy breath. "Don't say my name."

He motion towards the spot beside her on the bench. "May I sit with you?"

She looked towards the clear blue sky, "you just don't get it, do you?"

"Maxie…"

Abruptly, she stood, mere inches from him. "You can't just decide when its okay for me to love you."

He swallowed. There it was. That word again.

She laughed, the bitterness not relenting a fraction. "Not that you would know what that was. Your love is reserved strictly for damsels in distress."

He nearly told her she was one, but decided against it. It was then that he realized she was everything she did not want to be. In some way, that almost made her not everything she did not want to be. The idea that she wanted to change everything she was made him sick, yet he understood it.

Her mouth formed an o in a silent sob, clearly triggered by his lack of response. Angrily, she shoved him aside, moving around him. As she did so, he caught her wrist, gently tracing circles over the veins. She tensed, and then relaxed.

"I do not deserve you."

Her entire body went rigid, as she struggled against his hold.

"The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you. It seems as though whatever I do, I hurt you. I thought it would be better for you to push you away."

He searched her face for any sign of recognition, but her expression remained cold.

"Now, I see that I can not do that, because the thought alone of another man touching you makes me…"

"Makes you what?" her voice was so low and childlike he barely heard her.

"Makes me want to hold you, and never let go."

He looked at her, surprised to see tears once again shining in her eyes.

Her tiny hand landed on the one he had around her wrist, her body beginning to melt into his. "Nikolas…"

Gently, she pried herself from his grasp, so she could maneuver her body to mold with his. Timidly, her lips briefly touched his, not even giving him a chance to respond. He remained patience, anticipating the return of her touch.

It never came, as she back away, wide-eyed.

"I'm sorry…but," her voice faltered, "but I can't be hurt again."

Before he could even consider stopping her, she was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

Maxie Jones felt as if she were about to drown in her own tears. The sobs were nonstop and so intense she could barely breath. With shaking hands, she retrieved her cell phone. As soon has thumb hit the send button, she hated being everything she was.

She was everything she didn't want to be. Not when each breath she took was given to her by a young, innocent girl. Just knowing that she was responsible for every tear that fell down Liz's face, and the destruction of what was once a picture perfect family.

Yet, when a familiar, drunken voice slurred her name, she responded.

"Lucky, meet me in our room above Jake's in fifteen," it wasn't a question. There wasn't a need for one. She already knew he would come. It was what he did, they did. They used each other to self destruct. At least together, they had the comfort of knowing they weren't the only ones suffering.

His response was nearly inaudible, but she caught it because it was familiar. She had heard it countless times. That simple 'yes' that indicated that she was taking yet another step away from being who she used to be.

She might actually be able to erase Nikolas' touch from her body momentarily. To return to the heartless bitch who thought only of herself. To not have been reminded how it felt to be loved. She would do anything to remember Jesse's blood, his lifeless body. Because that's what she deserved.

* * *

Maxie pushed the door open, revealing a drunken Lucky already half naked laying on the bed. She was thankful for his boxer clad body. It would mean less foreplay. All she wanted was a good, emotionless, quick fuck.

His clouded eyes met hers, as she began to strip herself of her own clothing. He lazily stood from the bed, stumbling over to her, aiding her in revealing her body.

She pulled his boxers down, not even bothering to touch him. They both knew that wasn't an option. Not when the love of his life had left, and his brother brought up unwanted emotions.

There was no need for faux tenderness. They had attempted it a few times, during the first few weeks following Jesse's death. They had both needed to feel loved and accepted, to not feel empty for one second. However, each time they both came down from their pleasure high, it would always return.

Now, she accepted the emptiness that she was sure she deserved to feel for a lifetime. She didn't want any more of his false promises and whispered lies.

Wordlessly, he entered her. The sudden impact caused her to cringe. She was no where near wet enough, but she found herself moving her hips in accord with his. Her nails dug harshly into his shoulders, as he led them back to the bed. She slammed down onto the rough mattress, his body crushing her own.

Their rhythm increased, both knowing they wouldn't find any release.

* * *

Nikolas paced throughout his oversized mansion. Suddenly, it felt empty. He was accustomed to living alone; to be alone to grieve the loss of Courtney, and Emily's new lover.

That was before it had been filled with Maxie's stubborn protests, laughter, and tears. He felt as if he did not belong there, not without Maxie to argue with his every movement.

He poured himself a glass of expensive whine. He could imagine Maxie scolding him, and informing him that if he wanted to get 'fucked up' she would drag him to Jakes. He could almost see the thing playing out in his mind. He would protest, but would eventually give into those beautiful, blue eyes.

* * *

Maxie cringed when Lucky pulled out of her. Each thrust had been painful as he scraped across her walls. Yet, she wished it wasn't over. She needed the physical pain to dull the emotional.

He turned over, his back facing her. She knew he was as ashamed as she was. That he needed this as much as she did.

The sudden shaking of the mattress caught her attention and she maneuvered herself to look at Lucky. His shoulders were shaking with muffled sobs. For the first time during their affair, she actually felt bad for him. She wasn't focused on dulling her own pain with his body.

Cautiously, her slender fingers touched his bare shoulder lightly. His sobs ceased for a moment, his body tensing, before they returned, more intense than before.


	15. Chapter 15

Maxie Jones descended the stairs and eerily entered Jakes. She scanned the room, already knowing he was there. Her eyes connected with a haunted brown, and she felt herself tense. She looked down at herself, suddenly self conscious of her rumpled clothing and smeared make up.

To make matters worse, Lucky came stumbling out behind her, his eyes still fogged over from a combination of sleep and alcohol.

Nikolas' hands clenched into fists, yet he remained seated, his facial expression calm. He gave her a sympathetic, disappointed nod, and stood to leave.

Panicked, she followed him a couple feet. Then he turned around to look at her, and the coldness of his stare made her stop. He exited the small club, the door closing behind him.

Lucky appeared at her side, his gray eyes burning the back of her neck. Helplessly, she peered up at him. His only response was silence, but his eyes gave away all his emotions.

He didn't have any idea what to do, or where to go from there. She smiled halfheartedly, and allowed herself to be led out of the smoky bar.

* * *

Nikolas had originally entered the cemetery with the goal of visiting Courtney. Instead, he found himself standing in front of the young, blue eyed boy with a dimpled smile who had saved Maxie with his love, and then broke her with his death.

"I have immense respect for you. How you were able to have Maxie open up to you is beyond me. Without you, she is so lost. She needs you, but I need her to need me. I want her to realize that it is safe, and that I would not hurt her. You must know that," he sighed "I guess I just wanted to assure you that your girl is safe with me, and if she ever allows me to love her completely I will not hurt her."

The soft padding of feet caught his attention, and he turned around in search of the source. He was met with a pair of questioning blue eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was not accusing or harsh like he had expected. It was simply broken, as if she had finally surrendered to the battle of reality.

He shrugged. "I thought that maybe he could use some company."

She nodded, tears brimming her eyes.

He swallowed, struggling to say what he wanted, "I thought that he may be able to clue me in on you, and how to make you feel secure enough to…"

"To..?" she repeated.

"Love again."

There it was. He had finally voiced it. She remained silent, her shoulders sagging more so than before. "Love?"

He nodded, not sure of what else to say, or what she needed to hear.

"Oh…" Her response was simple, but the disappointment and sadness was there.

"Why?" He asked.

She looked at him with those tear brimmed eyes, and shrugged. "I don't know."

"You did not have to sleep with him, Maxie," he whispered.

"I know."

There was not an offered apology, but for some reason he forgave her. Because he knew how it felt to be where she was. He knew it all too well.

"I…" she trailed off, hiding her face behind her short hair.

He did not push or respond. He just waited patiently for her to continue.

"I…just," she sighed heavily, "I didn't want this. I didn't want to feel what I feel for you. But I do, and it won't go away. And I offered myself to you, begged you to accept me…to feel what I feel for you, to be what you feel for me."

He stayed silent, allowing his mind to tangle around her words. The one thing he noticed was her lack of the actual word. It seemed as though both of them were dancing around it. They were both terrified of being burned again. He knew eventually it would have to be verbalized, and he knew she would not be the first. However, he was not sure he had the courage to do it either.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head, her eyes snapping to his. It was back, her fiery nature. Anger was shining in her eyes, her petite body shaking.

"Don't!" She shrieked. "You rejected me so many times, and it hurt worse each time."

"You slept with my brother," he quietly added.

Her mouth opened, a gasp escaping her parted lips. "Yeah, I did. He actually wants me."

He clenched his eyes shut at the imagery the statement caused. "Yeah, Maxie. He wants you. A lot of men want you. You are a beautiful young woman. But they do not need you, or want to make you happy."

Her throat convulsed, as a lone tear fell down her porcelain cheek. "But no one wants to love me."

He knew this was the perfect time to say it. To finally build up the courage, but he did not. She let out a mocking laugh, before sitting down in the green grass in front of Jesse's tombstone.

"He wanted to," she whimpered, "and he did. Now he's gone."

Wordlessly, he sat down beside her, begging her first love to give him the strength to love her the way she deserved.


	16. Chapter 16

Hesitantly, he ran his fingers along hers, before intertwining them together and bringing them to his lips. Her blue eyes snapped to his, a single tear remaining on her pale cheek. Tenderly, he wiped it away, and slowly pulled her towards him, being sure to give her a chance to resist. Surprisingly, she melted against him and began to sob.

They were soft and far spaced but soon had her slender body trembling against his. One of her tiny hands gripped his shoulder tightly, while the other was twisted around a few blades of grass. He lifted her into his lap, and soothingly separated her hand from the abused grass.

She clung to him for a moment longer, before she was pushing at his chest, and standing from his lap. "I don't need this. Not now. Not here. I don't need your lies and pity."

He stood up, being sure to put a distance between them he was sure she would be comfortable with. "What is it that you need, Maxie? You know that I've never lied to you, only tried to spare you the pain I will cause you."

Her chin quivered, as she began pacing. "Something you obviously aren't willing to give."

He gently grasped her shoulders, forcing her to stop pacing. "Maxie, I am willing to give you what you need. From the day you came stomping out of that bathroom, soaking wet and completely naked I knew you were so much more than most assumed. I never should have made you think otherwise. I know that not even a million apologies could ever take away the pain I inflicted on you, but I am sorry.

Her eyes fixated on his, and like a deer caught in headlights they remained there wide and teary. The deep sadness depicted in the vibrant blue made him physically ache to take her pain away, to bring Jesse back, to claim her as his. To touch her slowly and not in a passionate frenzy their first time had been.

Her head moved slowly as she shook it, tears spilling over onto her cheeks once again. She took a single step back, and away from him.

"No, I slept with your brother. You're supposed to hate me, that's the way it works. You shouldn't be here begging me to let you in, and declaring whatever it is you are declaring," she trailed off, her expression becoming one of confusion and realization. "What exactly are you declaring, Nikolas?"

He wet his lips, and despite the sudden twisting of his stomach he forced his eyes to remain engrossed on hers. He played around with the three words on his tongue, tasting it, trying to imagine how it would change everything. If it would mean never seeing her again, or being able to be the one to heal her; for her to be the one to heal him.

She looked down, the silence obviously striking her as something it was not. Something it was not even close to being. He looked upward, silently requesting Jesse's blessing and for him to know he could rest in peace knowing his girl was taken care of.

A sense of peace washed over him, almost as if the young deceased boy had responded to his question. He was not sure if it was what he imagined it to be, or why such a selfless boy would give him permission to love the girl he had left behind unwillingly. However, for some ridiculous reason he believed he had, and for that he was humbled.

She peered up at him through long lashes when he moved closer to her. He saw her visibly tense but she did not move away. It was then he realized she was far from the naïve little girl she had been while with Jesse, or the self-destructive sex kitten with Lucky, she was a wounded woman. One who had let go of the past, but not the first love she had been blessed with. For that he did not blame or resent her for.

He knew it did not matter how much time passed, apart of her would always belong to that dimpled smile boy. Just as apart of him would always be Emily's. All he asked was that he be able to claim the rest of her.

He reached for her hand, lovingly running his thumb across her knuckles. "Maxie, I love you."

Her breath hitched, and a silent sob erupted from her. She stumbled back, but he was quick to steady her. Her eyes were unsure and revealed all her insecurities when she looked up at him.

Slowly, her tiny hands moved over his shoulders, pausing right beside his neck. His breath stalled as he awaited her next move. Then her fingers moved to tangle into his hair, and ever so slowly their lips met in a tentative kiss. Her tongue tangled timidly with his own, and he actually allowed himself to enjoy her unique taste without all the reasons they could never work out in the back of his mind. Instead when she pulled back and smiled slightly up at him, he ran his hand lightly over her tearstained cheek, and finally allowed himself to consider all the reasons they would be perfect together.

"I love you too."

* * *

1 year later

Her laughter washed over him as she skipped through the cemetery. Her bright, blue eyes met his when they stopped in front of Jesse's grave. Her left hand skimmed across his name, the sun reflecting off her engagement ring.

"I'm happy now, Jesse. And I know that wherever you are, you are happy too. I can feel it, I can feel you."

Nikolas smiled at his fiancé, and pulled her against him.

"We are getting married on the second anniversary of your death. Because you are the one who brought Nikolas to me. You knew I needed him, and that he needed me."

Nikolas brushed Maxie's lips with his own. A small breeze tickled the back of his neck, and for some reason he just knew that it was a Jesse silently thanking him for saving his girl.

**The end**

**A/N- I really hope I have done this couple justice and potrayed the raw beauty they would be together.**


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